And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If you have faith as a grain of mustard seed, you shall say unto this mountain, Remove from here to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Matthew 17:20
I am attending a women's Bible study by Beth Moore called Breaking Free. We are on week 3 and the lesson for day one is the Obstacle of Unbelief. Here is the question that has stumped me, "Has God ever proved unworthy of your confidence?" Of course my immediate answer is no, yet the Spirit whispers then why do you have so little faith in ME to do what I promised you I will. The truth is God my Heavenly Father, has proven faithful yet I still doubt Him.
When I was a girl most days after school I would walk over to visit my grandmother Eunice Murrell who lived just across the pasture from us, and for an hour or so and over a cookie or two we would talk about my day and I would tell her my girlish dreams and wishes. She use to tell me one of the best things you can do everyday is count your blessings. I did not understand then how great the wisdom was that she gave me. These days I find myself counting each blessing daily. What great blessings God has poured out this past year upon me even in the face of my trial. Everything He had shown me He would do He has done. Our home was found, the perfect one at the perfect price, every month He provides for our needs, even though every month I worry and some times panic. He placed us in a church family were we can grow and are accepted. Most of all the relationship I have with Him has been so great and so sweet. I asked for my days to be filled, and He has filled them. When I am faced with something that is to big for me to handle alone He always sends someone and makes a way that I am not alone. Our every daily need is met as we need it. Yes, He has proven worthy of my confidence.
Yet my flesh still doubts, and I tremble in fear. For my greatest hearts desire, my daily prayer, the cry of my heart is for the missing part of my family. I long to have my family whole again to be by my beloved's side. I long to see the repentance and restoration that must take place. God has already shown me in so many ways He will in His time and I am to just rest and trust him. Yet I am always climbing trees trying to see what is happening, on the other side of the mountain. How can I make myself rest and have full confidence in God and what He has promised me? How can I walk by faith and not by my sight? My soul inside cries out like the father with the son who had a evil spirit. "Lord, I believe: help my unbelief."
Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth. And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.( Mark 9:23-24)
Hebrews 11:1 tells us "faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen". The whole chapter goes on to tell of the Old Testament patriarchs and their faith, how they believed the promises of God and saw great and mighty things happen. How they suffered great trials, endured persecutions, face the impossible, but kept walking in faith with God. Yet, we know from reading their stories in the Old Testament they had their moments of doubt, and at times acted in fear or flesh, but God kept His word to them, brought them out of their own flesh and set their faces back on Him. Some even walked in faith and did not live to see their promise but it did not make it any less. Then we come to Hebrews 12: 1-3 Oh how sweet are these words.
For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
The patriarchs are our witnesses, their testimonies have already shown us the way, their victories encourages us to keep on, their failures warnings to take heed of our flesh and trying to "help God out". The victory over doubt is to keep moving forward looking to Jesus casting fear and doubt aside and keep our eyes on Him. He has more than proven Himself worthy of our confidence, by the very fact He endured the cross for you and me. Understanding this gives us freedom to step out in faith and march forward come what may. I can have faith by looking full into the face of Jesus and trust Him. That was what the father in Mark did in his cry for his child, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" He looked into face of Jesus he was able to believe and see the victory.
Here is the real truth and hope faith, can be found in the face of Jesus, trusting Him at his word, daily counting our blessings, knowing He is always worthy of our total and complete confidence, as we walk through this life path on our Journey Home.
