They Laughed at Noah

I don't know many things for sure but one thing I do know for sure is God joined my husband and I together.  Twenty-one years ago, the second weekend of February 1991, He brought us together at the Grace Bible Conference, in Bentley, La., two days later God said to me in my heart "This is your husband".  My response was, "Lord, I don't know if I even like him he is arrogant."   Then the Lord said again, "Never-the-less he is your husband love him."  I not only loved him, but he became my best friend. We were married on July 6, 1991. This young bride quickly learned marriage is not a fairy tale it is something you must work at we had our ups and downs, victories and failures, joys and sorrows just like everyone else.

What happened to bring down my marriage, that part of the story is not mine to tell, it belongs to my husband, perhaps one day he can share it as part of a victories testimony.

This I do know, God has shown me without a doubt  Todd Wiley Deloach is my husband, I am to love him as Christ loves me and he is the only man I am to give my love to until God takes one of us home.   

Trying to explain this to people often is met with a shake of the head, a pat on the hand, give it a year you will feel differently, or after all he has done you should move on to something better, God doesn't want you to suffer. Or the most dreadful words he divorced you get over it and move on he did.

I will shamefully admit, when I am away from close fellowship with the Lord, full of self pity and doubt, I play with these thoughts, when the circumstances seem impossible to ever change I think of giving up.  But the Lord just won't let me go, the closer I draw to Him the stronger my love for my beloved becomes and the more sure I am that I must stand in the name of Jesus for him and our marriage.

The other night was one of those nights I was up to the wee hours of the morning praying,  I told the Lord.  Father I know what you want me to do, but I am afraid of being laughed at, what if I am wrong, what if my beloved never comes home, what if I spend all my life waiting for nothing and every one mocks my faith in the end.  God gave this simple reply into the depths of my heart, "THEY LAUGHED AT NOAH".

Wow!! yes they did, and yet he carried on for years, building a boat on dry land for waiting on the never before seen rain, laughed at, mocked, scorned by everyone. Yet he obeyed God and received the blessing him and his family.  

Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he. (Genesis 6:22) 

So here I stand before all the world to proclaim God has shown me to stand for my husband and my marriage, that He will one day restore all, and we will rejoice over the great things He has done for us.  Laugh, doubt and shake your head if you will, I do not know many things but of this one thing I am sure this is the path that God has laid for me to walk.  I am not alone He is with me, and though the journey may be long, and at times it appears impossible, He is doing everything to make us ready, for the day when Todd and I will be together again to finish our journey home to our Saviour together.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

  Todd and Kristy Deloach

July 6, 1991

Grace Church, Bentley, La

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Mark 10: 7-9

A Sound Mind

Last month facing yet another dreaded life change and the holidays with all their fuss, I found myself deeply depressed, and at times feared I was "losing my mind".  I expressed it this way to a friend,"I am in my head all the time, I have to get out."  Once again this faithful friend pointed me to the only way out, Jesus, He would have the answers I seek. So woefully crying out to the Lord for help has lead me through a couple of weeks of  teaching and yet another layer of self filled Kristy being peeled away. 

It starts with the mind, most of my wars, are in my mind. All day long, and many nights, dwelling on the past, fearing the future, asking myself what could have been done differently, acting out in my head how if I had done this or that then it could have been different.  My thoughts and imaginations running wild. Sometimes letting these thoughts control my actions and reactions to circumstances that happen.

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;  (2 Corinthians 10:5)NKJ

The truth is it is all vain thoughts. The past is gone it can never be replayed. The future is before, a path already laid out by my Lord and only He knows the end.  Satan wants to control my mind in order to hold me captive.  He wants me to dwell in the dark corners of my mind, he wants me to live in fear,despair, helplessness, alone, and unloved.  He wants me to feel as if I am going crazy or if one more thing happens I will tip off the edge.   He wants me to act out in panic or irrationally and live in these fears, dragging myself and all those around me into the pit.  

Here is the good news, I have found the way out if you will.  God has given us the power already, He has called us to take those thoughts captive.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.(2 Timothy 1:7)KJ
 
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2 NIV

So let me take captive those thoughts and replace them with heavenly things,

1) I am not alone or rejected 

Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Hebrews 13:5

2) I am loved

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.  John 15:13&14

3) I am not helpless

Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

4)There is no need to fear the future or be in despair

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Oh, the joy I have found, outside around me nothing has changed the circumstances are still the same, but inside,my mind and soul have blossomed like flowers in the new spring.  Life has a renewed joy, I wake up looking forward and fall asleep thankful.  The Lord has taught that this is were victory over our mind is found, in truth, in light, in the Gospel.  Take the dark lies of Satan and hold them up in the truth and light of God's word, day after day, until the victory is won over your mind.  It is part of the ever ragging battle we must fight on our journey home.  It can be said no better than Paul in Ephesians

For this cause I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named, That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man; That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fullness of God.

Now to him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, To him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. Ephesians 3: 14-21

Father to the Fatherless

Late last night I finally found the time to watch the movie Courageous and wept for my daughters.  Now that their father has chosen to leave his family and start another with someone else they are in all sense of the word left fatherless.  He loves them, sends gifts, provides for their care, but he isn't there for birthdays, Christmas, swim meets, he wasn't there to see God open their hearts and save them.  He won't be there to see them baptised, or go to their first formal, the mile stones that they are making as young women he is missing it all.  He is not there to encourage them and protect them until God shows us His will for their lives,he won't be there to make sure some young man is the right one for them.  When he walked away from me and our marriage he walked away from them too.   When trials come up with one of the girls he is the first to run the other way, saying there is nothing he can do.

    

Watching Courageous broke my heart, and left me seeking God's face. "Father I can't change his heart I can't make him be what you called him to be. You are sovereign Lord, and this is the place that you have us for now, how can I fill in the gap for my daughters father, how can I be both to them.  How can I be the spiritual leader he is suppose to be, how can I be wise and protect them from the evils of this world?   How can I teach them not to be angry and bitter toward their father but forgive and love him? How can I be both, when I so often fail in my own role as mother?"

Then it came to me this morning. "I am the Father to the Fatherless"

A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is God in his holy habitation. (Psalm 68:5)

     

God alone is able to defend, protect and guide my daughters.  He is their Heavenly Father, who loves them more than any earthly father ever could.   He will use me, He will use their grandfather, He will use pastors, He will use Godly men, that are friends and are in our church.  He will be their Father.  

Will they miss that close earthly relationship like I have with my own father, the talks, birthdays, special moments that can never be gotten back? Yes, both they and he will. However, I rest in this, were it really counts, their spiritual growth and protection God will be their Father and He provide for them.

     

I hope that God will use this movie to cause Godly men to think and realize their role, not only to their own families, but as the movie showed the fatherless ones too.  That their example, their kind word, their encouragement and compassion to a child without a father just may the the only true Godly husband and father a child will see.

     

My hope is that one day, God will call out to my daughters father,bring him to repentance, and remind him of his purpose and role in their lives, that it is not enough to just love them but he is called to father them, this is our prayer. Until then we will continue on our journey home resting in the knowledge that He is sovereign, has already provided and the He promised to be a Father to the Fatherless.

My own father Timothy Murrell is a courageous man of God

Had the honor of baptizing me,1979 When I was 8 years old.

This was a moment I have never forgotten.

FUNKY SOCK MONKEYS

Last year Promise and I started making sock monkeys, never ones to be traditional we added our own twist.  Thus Funky Sock Monkeys was born.  Our idea isn't really new we use knee high socks in all colors and prints, embroider on faces and then dress and name them.  The fun part is no two ever come out alike.  We have placed them in Todd's shop and sold quite a few there along with some custom orders.  This year we hope to branch out, putting them on esty along with some other crafts and maybe even opening our own vendors booth.  The hope is to find a way to generate some extra income and build our own business.  It is important to take the skills and talents that God gave us and use them for His glory as we build our home, praying we will not be foolish or wasteful with the resources we have but wise resourceful and a blessing to all around us.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 1:14

Splinters

posted on Facebook December 18, 2011

Splinters

by Kristy Kay Murrell Deloach on Sunday, December 18, 2011 at 8:36am

I have been told most of my life I am the extremely hard headed.  A friend said this to me the other day when I was really in a dark place and they were trying to help me out and I wasn't willing to listen.  Those words, brought back a memory of my mother who was the one who said I was hard headed the most, and that led to some deeper thoughts.

When I about 10 I had a splinter in my finger that was infected and hurting.  I went to mama about it and she said it had to come out and went to get a needle.  I took off running, out of the house and across the yard, no way she was going to stick that needle in my finger.  Mama came chasing after me, and she yelled, "Kristy Kay Murrell you are the most hard headed girl ever".    Finally she caught me held me down on the hood of our car and quickly got the splinter out.  The whole time I was screaming.  Then it was over, just like that over, it did not even hurt as bad a the splinter itself did.  Once it was out the healing began and within a week I had forgotten all about it till now.

So I came to this place of realizing that I am running, fighting and screaming in my heart when God is just trying to deliver me from something that is festering and hurting me.  The fact is it is going to happen, it has happened for my own good, I can either be held down and scream and fight or rest in His arms trusting my Heavenly Father that he only has the best for me.   Let Him quickly get the splinter out so the healing can began.

What the future holds, I do not know.  I can safely rest in this, My Heavenly Father loves me more than my mother ever did.  He will never leave or forsake me, I can just rest in His arms while He takes care of everything.  It will hurt for a bit but in the end the pain will be forgotten, He is doing this for my best.  I can say "It is well with my soul".

Kristy Kay Murrell Deloach
12/18/2011

"Though Satan should buffet, tho trials should come, let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate and hath shed His own blood for my soul. "

Our Train

First Posted early today on Facebook but wanted to put it on here too.

Our Train
Last week on our way to my sisters home in Denton, Tx for Christmas we past a train rolling down the tracks along side the the highway.  Compassion my 11 year old daughter became excited and yelled "Look at the train Promise!" then sat back in her seat and with a deep sad sigh proclaimed, "I miss our train."   She and Promise spent the next few miles chatting about trains and the one that runs a block behind our old home.  I did not think much of it till this morning.

While taking my morning walk enjoying the crisp winter air, the only sounds were the birds chirping finding their breakfast & cars humming down the main road as people rushed off to work, and I alone deep in my own thoughts then I heard it "Our Train".   Two miles is the distance from our new home and old. The train track is one block behind the old house.  I could hear the whistle blowing and in my mind went back to sweeter days I had forgotten.

Promise always loved the train, she would hear it long before anyone else.  I remember her being around 2 years old she would stop, tilt her head break into a huge grin, the run to the back bed room climb up on the bed and duck under the blinds the there she would sit till the last car clicked by.  Once Compassion was old enough to get around a play with Promise, Promise would drag her along in this little ritual pushing her up on the bed before climbing up her self.  If they were in the back yard they would stand at the fence and watch chattering away in their own special sister talk about it.

Then were the days when Todd would say, "Quick lets go meet the train!"  he would pick up the baby, Compassion I would grab Promise's hand and with Patience running along side we would all race down to the end of the block to stand and watch the train roll by, click clack, click, clack counting the cars.  The engineer would see us wave and give the whistle an extra tug.  Then after last car rolled by we would walk home laughing and talking, Compassion swinging between our hands, Promise slowly walking behind picking up every "flower" weed she could find and Patience skipping ahead, with me telling her to get out of the middle of the road and Todd telling me not to worry she will be fine.  Making sweet memories together as a family.

The girls never really paid attention to any other trains, just the ones that ran on that track.  I never really thought about it much until last week when Compassion's deep sigh and sad voice told me how special it was to them.  It is more than the train, it was home, comfort, love, and family.  A time when the world was right side up and laughter flowed freely when they felt safe, secure and loved.  When family was who we were and it seemed forever.   So as I listened to lonely whistle fade off in the distance I thanked God for the sweet memory of my family Todd, Patience, Promise, Compassion and I standing there together holding on to each other in love as we watched Our Train.  

These days, these memories are what I hold close in my heart as I wait for what God has next for us.  The thing about love is it never dies, it may fade, we may forget the good days, bitterness, hurt may cover up the sweetness and hide it for a time but only for a time.  Truly Satan's lies can only stand for so long before light and truth shine through.   These memories, are God's little gifts to me to remind me to keep the faith as I wait for Him to do His good work.

Kristy Kay Deloach
December 29, 2011

 Better is little with the fear of the LORD than great treasure with trouble.
 Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a fatted ox with hatred.  Proverbs 15:16&17

Learning to Dance

Ah, life has so many different tunes, some are slow and lazy, some have a quick step, some a happy and joyful then there are the sad songs, the melodies that wrench your soul and yet we must learn to dance to each tune as it is played.  It is those sorrowful melodies that are the most difficult to dance to, we want to stop everything and hide from the pain, often confused as to which way to turn.

My life has been playing that tune for a couple of years now and this past year and a half have been the hardest. To sum it up quickly my Todd beloved husband of 20 years made the choice to leave us his family and move on in life without us. Heartbreaking is not the word for this sorrow no words can express it.

In the first months I prayed like never before in my life, prostrate before my Lord, asking all the questions, how and why.  I poured out my anger, my sorrow, my pain.  Then one day that still small voice whispered ever so sweetly in my ear, are you finished. "Yes, Lord", was my reply.  He then said listen to what I have to say. He brought me to his Word,  

Luke 15, 8-10 Either what woman having ten pieces of silver, if she lose one piece, doth not light a candle, and sweep the house, and seek diligently till she find it? And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the piece which I had lost. Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth. 

For the first time I saw a glimmer of hope. Could it be true that which is lost can it be restored?  A few days later I was lead to the web site Rejoice Marriage Ministries (http://rejoiceministries.org/) and there read the story of this couple whose story was so much like mine and Todd's in many ways yet God restored their marriage and gave them a ministry to encourage others.  I saw hope, a gleam of hope, yet my journey had just begun.  Even as God gave me hope for the end of this journey He also showed me it was going to be a long and difficult road.  

Journal Entry Dec 27,2010  God woke me early this morning from my sleep He told me many things.

1) He loves me, He sees my pain and holds my  tears.

2) He loves me Todd and sees his hidden heart.

3) He will take care of Todd and I need to leave him in His hands.

4) King David left God for his own sin and there was a time before God rebuked him and  there will be a time before God is ready to bring Todd back to Himself and me.

5) God has work He is doing on me, He is refining me to make me more like Him, The fire hurts and burns but in the end there will be joy.

6) He is working on Todd to refine him as well.

7) Todd is my husband and I should not resit him but obey and walk close to Jesus.

8) The new house will be a blessing, God is getting the perfect one ready for me.

9) Best of all "Now Kristy go get you daughters up go to you husband, I have much for you to do."

He did have much for me to do, the new house was found, move was made, so many other things I can't began to list this past year. This I have learned and am still learning when God says something it is a promise, a promise that will not fail, you can hold on to it.

For now the family is broken, new home for the girls and I and in many ways a new life that is strange and foreign. One of my daughters chose to live with her father, the other two with me.  He has moved on with a new woman and even a new baby.  Yet as a dear friend reminds me almost weekly we must dance on in life.

The music will keep playing and I Kristy must learn to live without half of me joyfully serving the Lord, mothering the girls, singing praises to God, trying new things and going on adventures until I see my promise from God.

A few weeks ago I was in a dark place and a wise friend wrote me these words. 

"And that thing about just live your life? I think you do know what it means. Until He leads you somewhere, do the laundry to His glory; feed the girls to His glory; clean your house to His glory; finish those cute sock monkeys to His glory; read the Word, fellowship with the brethren, worship Him in song - all to His glory. Do the shopping, get the appliances repaired, sweep the porch - whatever presents itself before you, do it all to His glory. Cry to His glory; laugh to His glory; bury your head in your pillow to His glory! I know, sounds crazy. But it's true. And know that you are not alone."

This is what it means to learn to dance. And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. (Colossians 3:23-24) And dance we shall we may fall down sometimes but we will get back up and keep going until we reach the end our journey and are home with Jesus.